Well, today we took Chloe to the vet to have her leg checked out. She was not walking on it much and I was having to carry her outside to go potty. We knew she wasn't feeling well since she kept leaving the room and heading for her bed in our bedroom. That is not like her. So this morning I called and made her an appointment.

When we went to the assigned room, the nurse asked a few questions like what we feed her and if she was being treated for heart worm disease and fleas. She took her temperature and said it was normal. Then the doctor came in. He was one I hadn't seen there before. The hospital has a team of veterinarians and I suspect he is fairly new there. We have been taking Chloe there since we moved to this town in 2002. At that time she had to have bladder surgery to remove bladder stones. She was only 2 at the time and they were amazed that such a young dog had stones. They told us that was something usually older dogs got. Anyway, the doctor checked her leg and asked us what had happened. We told him she jumps down off the sofa and off hubby's recliner all the time and since her front legs are so short she sometimes injures them. We've tried to keep her from jumping down but sometimes she is quicker than we are and before we know it she is down. From time to time she limps around for a day or two and then she is okay. He said to put her down so he could watch how she acted when she walked. Of course when he called her to him, she looked at him as if to say "yeah, right!" So I walked over by him and called her to me. Not a limp in sight. Hubby and I looked at each other and said we couldn't believe it. The doctor chalked it up to adrenaline and said he would like to take an xray to rule out a broken bone. We agreed and he whisked her out the door and we sat there and waited. About 10 minutes went by and he brought her back and said he'd be right back after he checked the films.

When he came in he said, "well, it's not a broken bone but I have some bad news for you." He proceeded to put the two xrays in the viewer on the wall. He said he was concerned because the bone in her leg was bowed and also because at the joint where it joined her foot, I guess it's her ankle, the edge of the film looked like it was kind of scalloped and not a smooth line. He said it looked like cancer or a bone infection. We were stunned. We just sat there and listened in a sense of shock from that point on. He suggested putting her on aggressive antibiotics for a couple of weeks and some anti-inflammatory for pain and then check to see if there was improvement. If not he suggested taking a biopsy and possibly amputating her leg and having chemotherapy. Then he said she probably would only last another 6 or 8 months at that time. And if we did nothing it would probably be only 2 months. We couldn't believe what he was saying. I kept waiting for him to say something like, "you've just been punked!" He kept saying he was sorry for having to give us bad news. He suggested having a specialist check the xrays to confirm or deny his diagnosis. We agreed again.

He left the room again and returned with the meds for her. He said he would call us as soon as he heard from the specialist. We just are overwhelmed. Hubby said he didn't even want to consider amputation and chemo was not a good option either if it was only going to extend her life by a few months. I think its an infection only how does one get an infection in the bone? She hasn't had an injury or anything. So I would sure appreciate some prayers for our little girl. She is like the child we never had together. We each have grown children from a previous marriage but she is our child together. I am going to think positively and pray for a miracle outcome myself. Here we were just trying to rule out a broken leg and this is not what we expected at all.

Over the Hump Day

I know I haven't been keeping my posts up lately. I have been fight off a bug the last couple of days. I'm doing pretty well today and plan to go and watch the kids in the nursery at church. In fact, I think I probably picked up this bug from one of them last week. They were all sneezing and coughing and had runny noses. Oh joy!

I am going to have to take Chloe to the vet today. She has been limping the last couple of days and now she is just staying in her bed. I know she must be in a lot of pain. She has short little legs and gets on the sofa or chair and then will jump down. The jump down jars her body and I think that is what is causing her pain. When I see her up on the furniture I try and lift her off before she jumps but sometimes she jumps before I can get there. I am hoping it's not serious. Maybe the vet can give her something for the pain.

We've been having quite a bit of rain this week. They say we need it. I for one, will be glad when it's over with. I am so ready for some spring sunshine.

Do any of you watch The Biggest Loser? Last nights show was so inspirational. The remaining four contestants had to run or walk a full marathon. They all finished and were given checks for charity as a prize. But the journey they all have traveled was played out as they each ran/walked the marathon. Some of the emotions and joys and frustrations were so easy to identify with. I think it was one of the best shows they've done. Next week is the finale. The contestants have lost the largest amounts of weight of any of these shows. They all started out much heavier than the other shows also. I am eager to see who will win. It is on Tuesday at 8pm on NBC if you are interested in watching.

What fat does to your life..........

Doesn't this before picture look scary? Look at the fat around all the organs.

It seems I have been battling this weight loss my whole adult life. I didn't have a weight problem as a kid. After giving birth I had a lot of excess weight and that is where my story begins. I joined Weight Watchers for the first time in 1966. That seems like a hundred years ago to me. But I walked in there with a friend and was all excited to get started and begin losing this "baby fat". Well, the WW plan in 1966 was not so easy to stick with. Although, I was on it for quite a while, off and on I finally reached my goal and became a lifetime member in 1988. I remember crying when I finally reached goal and I got up in front of the group and was given accolades for having achieved my goal at last. I was able to maintain my weight for the next 7 years and then I approached peri-menopause. Between being a newlywed, caring for both my parents who were in failing health and working full time, my willpower went out the door and I begin to eat for comfort. I managed to gain over 100 pounds in about a year. I was so embarrassed. I was ashamed if I ran into someone I knew from when I was thin. I would avoid meeting friends who hadn't seen me in many pounds. Try as I might, I wasn't able to get the pounds rolling off as they had in the past. I had reached the age where my metabolism had slowed down to a crawl and the more I tried, the more I seemed to gain. I felt as though I had been on a diet my whole life and failed miserably. Looking back at photographs taken on vacations or special occasions I had pictures I would look at longingly and think, "wow, I look soooo good here" and others that I though, "I look disgusting in this picture". I was consumed with my weight. Every new diet book that came out, I bought and tried. Every television show that advertised a diet or someone losing weight, I watched. I was obsessed with losing weight and I was such a failure at it. I guess I was hoping the magic pill or secret information to solve my long sought after dream would be just around the corner. I had heard of Gastric Bypass surgery and reading up on it I found it to be "too drastic for me". I didn't want to have my insides changed around. I joined Curves and after working out there for a few months began working as a trainer there. I loved it. It had to be the greatest job I'd ever had. Although it paid next to nothing, it was fun and I could help others and workout for free everyday. A couple of years later I left Curves and began working at a club similar to the Curves workout. After a couple of months I was asked to manage the club. I accepted the job and loved it. I worked out daily and still couldn't seem to lose the weight. In fact I was slowly putting weight on. I was starting to be embarrassed to come to work. Here I am working in a gym and gaining weight. What kind of example am I???

Then about two years ago I saw a blurp on television about something called LapBand Surgery. I was hooked, I had to find out everything there was to know about this. I went online and searched every website I could find. I read up and found an online forum where the patients themselves would write in on message boards that covered every possible scenario concerning the band and any problems, questions, success stories and even failures. I decided to look further and see where the closest surgery center for this surgery was. I found one 70 miles north of home. They were having an informational meeting on weight loss surgery at a hotel in our town in a few weeks. I talked to my husband about wanting to go and hear about this surgery. He agreed to come with me. I led him to believe I just wanted to know what it was all about and yet, I was pretty convinced that it sounded like the answer to my prayers. After the meeting I was pretty excited. I filled out my application and sent it in. It took me almost 6 months before I had my surgery. We had a couple of long vacations planned that interfered with having it any sooner. So the whole time that is all I thought about. I went to LapBandTalk.com everyday and read all the newest posts. Finally, I had insurance approval and a surgery date. I went for my pre-op appointment after having to jump through hoops to lose an extra 9 pounds I had gained over a 2 month trip. The doctor said he wanted me to lose between 5 and 10 pounds before pre-op. I was informed that if I didn't lose that required weight the surgery would be cancelled until I did. Great! Now I had to lose an additional 9 pounds. So I went on a liquid diet for 3 weeks and managed to lose 18 pounds by the time my pre-op appointment came. I was stoked. I had my surgery March 26, 2008 and now I was on my way. The surgery was considered an outpatient surgery but if you wanted you could stay one night in the hospital. I opted to stay because I had tremendous pain in my shoulders and neck. In fact I still had the pain for weeks afterward. I went for my 6 week checkup and told the doctor I still was suffering from this neck pain and had to sleep sitting up and he said, "hmm let me see, "Oh I repaired a Hiatal Hernia on you. That would be the cause of the pain" Why couldn't he have told me the day of the surgery? He came to see me a few hours afterward. Oh well. I finally recovered from that and began to lose my weight slowly.

I have managed to lose about a pound a week. Pretty slow, but I'll take it. I have lost 78 pounds thus far and I go to the YMCA in my town 5 to 6 days a week. I have become so much stronger and my blood pressure is much lower, my resting heart rate is much lower and I feel great. I still have a ways to go but I am not ashamed when I see people I know anymore. I was hoping my husband would want to follow in my footsteps but it doesn't look like that is going to happen. He has diabetes and I can't get him to the gym with me or to watch what he eats. He watched my Mother lose her eyesight due to diabetes and eventually lose her life due to the effects of the disease. I am terrified of getting it myself and that is part of why I workout so much. I can't make him change, I can only change myself. I just hope he will want to start taking care of his health before it's too late.

I only have one issue and that is reflux. I have been having to take Prilosec every day and I still have problems sometimes with acid at night. I sometimes end up sleeping in my recliner when it gets too bad. I wish I had someone I knew here in town who had the surgery so we could compare notes but at least I can check the forum message boards. I try to eat no later than 6pm and don't eat anything after dinner. But sometimes it doesn't matter. I have heard it could be the band is adjusted too tightly but the doctor doesn't seem to think that is the case. I have a 4cc band and I am filled to 2.2cc's. That is only a bit more than half. I am thinking maybe I should have my big meal at the lunchtime and just a small meal at dinner time. Maybe that will help too. Not that I eat that much. But all in all I would do this again in a heartbeat. It has made the difference in my being able to do things I wasn't able to do in years. I watch the toddlers at the nursery at our church on Wednesday mornings while their mothers have a bible study class. I get down on the floor and play with these kids and I could never have done that before. My life has changed so much and I am so grateful to my husband for his love and support and my surgeon for giving me my life back.

Making up for bad decisions.............

Well, I really blew it yesterday. I have been so good about not eating candy the last couple of weeks. I put it all away and it hasn't been tempting me. However, for dinner last night we went to Sizzler. I had the salad bar and I usually bring my dinner home. I can only eat one or the other. But for some reason, I was able to eat the baked potato. I also ate one of the grilled shrimp skewers which had 5 shrimp on it. So I ate a big salad, 5 little shrimps and a baked potato. Then I got a little bowl of their ice cream and put some caramel sauce on it. I couldn't believe I could eat that much. Well, I didn't feel too badly since the only other food I had eaten was a Lean Cuisine meal at lunchtime. And I had done 2 hours at the gym yesterday. One hour of yoga, 1/2 hour of cardio and 1/2 hour of strength training. So why is it that I felt the need to eat another bowl of ice cream at home last night?? It only had one scoop but goodness me, I don't know what came over me. I guess I had a mini binge. I guess it surprised me since everything went down so easily. That hardly ever happens. I usually get a little reminder to slow down or to stop, but not last night. I must have been chewing well or taking in very small bites. Well, today at the gym I guess I need to work a little harder to counteract the calories I took in last night.

A wonderful feeling........

Yesterday was a very special day for us. We went to the local mission that feeds the homeless and helped prepare the meal and feed the hungry people who came in. Our church group volunteered to provide the food and make a meal for these less fortunate folks. We all contributed to the food that was purchased and then fixed the meal. We served baked chicken legs and thighs, French Fries, green beans, corn, and salad. We all made homemade desserts and brought those in as well. We fed approximately 100 people and then cleaned up by doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen and wiping down tables, sweeping the floor, etc. This was such a wonderful experience I can't begin to tell you how much it meant to us. We felt like we got more out of it than the people who came in to eat.

These people were so appreciative and nice to us. We were so impressed by how many of them came up to us afterward and thanked us and told us how delicious the food tasted. My hubby and I talked about what stories each of those people had and what had caused them to be in a position to come there to eat dinner. It was certainly an eye opening experience for us all.

We felt so blessed to be able to help feed the people. We all decided that maybe we should do this on a monthly basis.

Here's a photo I snapped while I was waiting for Hubby

He was getting supplies for his new hobby. He makes pens using a lathe. I waited in the truck with Chloe. I saw the clouds and thought they looked beautiful.

I am entering it in the Looking up at the Sky Friday. Here is the info on it from the blog of http://www.crazyworkingmom.com/2008/12/looking-up-at-sky-on-friday-information.html(If you would like to participate in Looking at the Sky on Friday, all you have to do is post a photo of the sky on Friday. That's it. I don't care what else you have on your blog. It makes no difference to me. Have fun and be creative. Visit others if you have time. Thanks for playing along.) I haven't figured out how to just put a word up and when you click it you get a whole phrase.

I lost three pounds this week since my fill last week. I feel like I am back on track now. Of course taking the candy out of my sight helped a lot. I am also trying not to snack between lunch and dinner. That was a problem for me for the last several weeks but hopefully now I won't be as much of a grazer.

Aren't these horses beautiful? They are Arabian fillies. We visited a horse ranch on our vacation in February. I went through my pictures to find one suitable for the A Thousand Words Thursday and I like this one.

I had a dental appointment this morning. I went for a cleaning. The dental hygienist is a new one there and the old one just used instruments to clean my teeth. This one used one of those ultrasound machines too. I hate those. Makes me feel like my skull is vibrating. But my teeth are nice and smooth and shiny now.

It's so pretty out today. We are supposed to have warmer weather this weekend in the mid to high 70s. It's probably in the low 60s now but it sure is nice out. I helped hubby in the yard a while ago. We were shoveling gravel into his little trailer. After about 20 minutes it occured to me that I could never have done this a year ago. I would have been too tired after a couple of shovels full. I never did get tired. Of course I didn't tell him that or I would still be out working.

I have some dahlias to plant and also some other bulbs to get in the ground. I want to make a bed for the dahlias. I need to fence it off or the deer with eat them. They came on our porch last year and ate some of the dahlias out of a large planter. We have cages around most of our little bushes and plants. Our neighbor put an 8 foot fence around his back yard so they could have a vegetable garden and tulips and such. I would like to do the same thing.