Not yet.............

I was to go to the doctor on Tuesday for my upper G.I. to determine if my dilated esophagus had healed. The doctors office called me on Monday afternoon to tell me he wouldn't be available on Tuesday and they changed my appointment to Thursday (today). So this morning I went for my upper G.I.. Sadly, the dilation was better but not enough for him to fill my band. He said I would be in the same shape within a few weeks as I was before if he filled it. Now, I have to wait another 3 months. I am so frustrated. I asked him if I had caused this to happen by something I was doing. He said no, it was caused by my band being too tight for too long. I feel as though the last two years have been a total waste of my time with this band. I haven't lost that much weight in the two years due to this particular problem.

The original surgeon I had wasn't knowledgeable enough to take care of my problem (which I believe he caused). First, I think he should have placed a larger band than he did. I have a 4cc band. That doesn't allow much room to adjust. The most my band has had in it is 2.25cc and that was fine for about 6 months until I became so tight I vomited and then it swelled shut and I could barely drink for over a week until I got home from a vacation out of state and he unfilled me and sent me for an upper G.I. He decided to leave me unfilled a couple of weeks and then proceeded to fill me again, rapidly but now I had acid reflux and heartburn and would choke in my sleep. When I went bad to him he shrugged his shoulders and said he didn't know what was causing my problem. He implied that I just wasn't compatible with the band. Then he left the practice and moved to another town. For a few months we had no doctor on staff. A doctor from another town came in once a week and did fills and such. When I saw her she immediately removed my fill and sent me to a gastroenterologist for a scope test. So I was unfilled again. It took me three months to get my appointment. In the meantime, we got our new doctor at the bariatric center and I went back to him after the gastro doctor found no problem such as a slippage or something else. Our current surgeon is a lapband patient himself. When he filled me he wouldn't put as much as I originally had and I only had 2cc in my band. I went this way for about 8 months. I wasn't losing weight after a few months. I kept feeling no restriction plus I had killer acid reflux. I took Prilosec in the morning and at night and still had the reflux and heartburn when I drank water or any kind of drink with citrus in it. Plus, I had to sleep sitting up. I propped pillows behind me so I was almost upright and basically slept on my back.

When I went for my fill last October, my husband wanted me to tell the doctor about my sleeping situation. So, I did. If I laid down flat on the bed I had fluid or food come up into my mouth. I probably should have gone back to the doctor months before and told him what I was experiencing but I guess I was afraid that he would also say that I wasn't compatible with the band.

Now, he is saying if it isn't back to normal after another three months he may have to remove the band. I am so upset by this that I don't know what to do. I feel like a failure. Only I lost 97 pounds in my first year. I feel like now I am going to have to start counting calories again and dieting again after years of failing at that too. I pray that things go well now and I won't have to have my band removed. I am going to start really watching what I eat and continuing my exercise so at least I won't gain any more weight. Am I a failure, or did the doctors fail me? I don't know.

I apologize for going on about this but I want this documented in my blog so I can look back later and have it as my diary. Thank you all for your kind comments since I began this blog.

I am going to the church tonight with my quilt top. I am ready to place the batting and backing with it and quilting it. I am proud to have completed my first quilt top for the Squares of Hope at church.