Sunday, November 8, 2009

So close but yet so far.............

I was reading the posts on LapBandTalk.com this morning and saw how some of the people in my group have had the same issue I've had over the last 5 or 6 months. I hadn't been keeping up on it so much because when I did read it, it seemed they were all doing well and I couldn't relate so I stopped reading it. I did keep up on one thread about the problem I was having but not my band mates from the month of our surgery. During that time many of them got close to their goal weights and have had plastic surgery. It's encouraging and yet frustrating to see the success stories when I still have so far to go. But it's also a little comforting to know I am not the only person who has experienced the reflux issues and who is now struggling to get back into the mode of losing rather than maintaining weight. I wrote on a post there this morning how my husband blurted out to me while we were at a friend's house, how he was disappointed in me because I was eating the darned candy we bought at Costco a few weeks back. He said, "all the money that was spent on your surgery (my insurance picked up the tab)and you are just throwing it away and eating candy" I never claimed to be perfect. In fact, if I wasn't as imperfect as I am, I wouldn't have needed the surgery to begin with. It really hurt my feelings, to have him say he was disappointed in me. He used to say he was so proud of me, and that he couldn't believe what willpower I had, and then to pull the rug out from under me that way it was just like a slap in the face. It hurt, and I'm sure he didn't realize how badly it hurt. He has no willpower at all and is in terrible shape. I think maybe he had put me on a pedestal as something special and when he saw I was just as weak at times as he is regarding eating, he felt let down or something. Does that make sense? Anyway, that happened a few weeks ago, but after he said that I quit eating candy and maybe I needed to hear it. Now I just need to refocus on my eating and start back the way I am supposed to eat with the band. Proteins first and then vegetables, and if I have room after that carbs.