Sunday, November 8, 2009

So close but yet so far.............

I was reading the posts on LapBandTalk.com this morning and saw how some of the people in my group have had the same issue I've had over the last 5 or 6 months. I hadn't been keeping up on it so much because when I did read it, it seemed they were all doing well and I couldn't relate so I stopped reading it. I did keep up on one thread about the problem I was having but not my band mates from the month of our surgery. During that time many of them got close to their goal weights and have had plastic surgery. It's encouraging and yet frustrating to see the success stories when I still have so far to go. But it's also a little comforting to know I am not the only person who has experienced the reflux issues and who is now struggling to get back into the mode of losing rather than maintaining weight. I wrote on a post there this morning how my husband blurted out to me while we were at a friend's house, how he was disappointed in me because I was eating the darned candy we bought at Costco a few weeks back. He said, "all the money that was spent on your surgery (my insurance picked up the tab)and you are just throwing it away and eating candy" I never claimed to be perfect. In fact, if I wasn't as imperfect as I am, I wouldn't have needed the surgery to begin with. It really hurt my feelings, to have him say he was disappointed in me. He used to say he was so proud of me, and that he couldn't believe what willpower I had, and then to pull the rug out from under me that way it was just like a slap in the face. It hurt, and I'm sure he didn't realize how badly it hurt. He has no willpower at all and is in terrible shape. I think maybe he had put me on a pedestal as something special and when he saw I was just as weak at times as he is regarding eating, he felt let down or something. Does that make sense? Anyway, that happened a few weeks ago, but after he said that I quit eating candy and maybe I needed to hear it. Now I just need to refocus on my eating and start back the way I am supposed to eat with the band. Proteins first and then vegetables, and if I have room after that carbs.

11 comments:

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Weight is always a problem for those that have too much. Keeping true to what should be eaten as opposed to what you love is very hard. On the flip side people that need to eat more to gain weight have what seems to be even a harder problem. I try to go by the precept that as long as I don't over endulge it's ok. Moderation seems to be the key and keeping balance isn't always easy.
Try not to be discouraged. If it's something you really want to do you can do it.

Tatersmama said...

Well, I for one am proud of you and I think you're doing a fantastic job.
I know it's not easy and there are times you'll have slip-ups, but you already know that.
It's stinkin' hard to change, but you at least know what you're doing to yourself, but to have the added pressure put on you... well it can be very hurtful, can't it?
(oh and those cookies? They're for the Old Guy. I had one, and the rest were frozen. *sob*)

Dutch said...

I have been thinking more and more about the Lap Band. My insurance would not cover the gastric bypass & I didn't even think to see about the Lap Band. I think I will talk it over with my hubby & see what he thinks & put a call into my insurance.

JCWillow99@gmail.com said...

I think you are doing great, and admire your courage. I can understand your wanting candy once in a while. I don't see that would set you back that much? If you just have a little every now and again. Sometimes men just want something to gripe about I think. don't let him get you down. You have accomplished so much.

Judi said...

I'm coming to your house and hitting that man over the head with a skillet!
I'm sure he was just having an off day because I know for damn sure YOU would not be married to an insensitive fella! And, since he married YOU, I know he's not stupid....even if he said something stupid. And, I know he doesn't have a death wish--even though he risked life and limb by saying something like that...in front of others no less. So, yes, he was having a VERY OFF day. Chalk it up to the stars being aligned wrong or something like that. Because I know he didn't mean to hurt your feelings!
But, I'm still coming with my skillet...
Kathy...our imperfections are what make us human. Period, that's it. Clearly, your DH has some imperfections too!! And, they aren't as sweet as candy! LOL!
As for what you are doing--you deserve a standing ovation and a strand of pearls and a few carat diamond ring! You are staying in the game even with the challenges you have faced! So, you ate candy? Haven't we all!!! Don't beat yourself up honey! You have come a long way and you will continue to succeed!
Now, where is my skillet?
Onward!
Judi

Pam said...

I'm proud of you. Husbands can say the stupidest thing sometimes. Once, mine held up one of my exercise cd's with an insanely in shape woman on the cover and asked why I didn't look like that.

Jody V said...

I agree as well that he didn't even know what he said. Men don't think quick enough before opening their mouths.

I stopped looking at LapBandTalk as well for the same reasons. Hang in there!!

Kathy said...

Thank you all for your encouraging and kind words. You are the best. That is why I love it here in blogland. By the way, I was called by the doctor's office today and they rescheduled my next fill to tomorrow instead of next week.

Karen at Nittany Inspirations said...

I have been getting off track for a long time and am having vitimin deficiencies. My new insurance won't cover a nutritionist and my PCP doesn't understand the issues of RNY bypass surgery. I just ordered some dry 1,000 IU D vitimins from Vitalady.com. I need to keep up with the calcium, too. I got my B12 yesterday. You are doing fine. Don't get discouraged over results or comments. Hugs

It's a whole process, we go up and down, good and bad. I have gained, but will try to watch my carbs.

Ronda said...

Dont let the words of another affect you! I did that and I have been on a plateau for almost a year. When I finally got mad and said I wouldn't let it happen to me, I got off my plateau! And yes we all have a weak moment, mine is chocolate. If I don't give into it in a small way I am going to go down in a big way. So I give a treat to myself when I need one. So far it hasn't affected me badly. And then I can move forward and get back on track!

Angi said...

I met the new doctor recently too!! I had to have all my fluid taken out on the 3rd due to an issue with some pork chop getting stuck. It was empty for almost two weeks. I got 3.5 cc's put back in today. I'm happy that it's there, but still not feeling much restriction. I'm gonna schedule more for when he's back from vacation I think.